week 6 - deployed

Internet bar... the static-laced sounds of babies crying, women laughing.  And all these fellas sitting around me smiling as they wave at their computer screens and watch their families grow... 

Thankful for a beautiful day

One fella a few weeks ago explained in detail all the affairs he plans on having... about how his wife is fine with it because he is "deployed"... I can't bring myself to ask him why

I think of how nice our living quarters are... the beds we've been given... the running water in the bathrooms... I walk the two minutes back to the office... full of desks and air conditioning, computers, coffee pots... just another business trip

I read a report talking about the vehicle deaths that occasionally happen here.  Seems like we're better at killing us than the enemy is.  Rollovers, who would have thought?  It's not the roll that gets you.  It's the inescapable fire you can't crawl out of...

Just a little field trip, then back home to whomever is waiting for me


I go to church...


I walk back to my room at midnight... or later... when I can't keep my eyes open in the office anymore... insomnia will be an issue before I finish this trip... I walk out the security gate.  Give some dinner leftovers to the graveyard shift.  I look both ways before crossing.  For anything

Sleep

Thankful for a beautiful day

Praying for my friends.  The ones who've lost family.  Those who are injured.  Those with broken hearts.

Thankful for a beautiful day.

I read magazine articles about the common chemistry in sleeplessness and mood disorders... about recent radical discoveries which have linked physiological relationships to behavioral inconsistencies...

Was I sleeping just now?  For a second I believed I was hiking the grand canyon with an old friend of mine



I remember a day with a girl I used to date.  We tried out for Fear Factor... the stage version out in a theme park.  She thought we'd never get on.  I just told her to be herself.  They interviewed all of us in front of the park.  They picked her instantly... no surprise, probably the same reason I had picked her long before...  they get to me, and my interview question is:  what is your biggest fear?


Well, you can try to be funny, creative... goofy.  I mean you're trying to get into a show right?  I chose to be honest


Burning alive


We both went on the show

Beautiful day.


I think of all my Zambian friends, and now my new friends in Afghanistan... who cherish love and beauty when it happens.  Who make every sacrifice for their families, even if it means burning bridges.  Who survive so that they may grow, and grow to learn how to survive more... and cope.

That's life

It's been beautiful.  The bad parts have all been my fault... whatever is left, it's up in the sky now, freefallin... like a pretty blue and yellow kite with glass beaded string... arms open into a gusting and unpredictable dusty, desert wind